My company does commercial and residential property management. It just so happens that our commercial division manages the building the corporate office is in. I sit within ear shot of the commercial folks at my cubicle. A few weeks ago, the Property Manager of our building told me I could park on the deck if there was any sort of inclement weather. I don't pull the pregnancy card often because it feels shady but this was one instance where I figured I should take what I could get. Our building is three stories high with several companies occupying space. There is a parking garage under a parking deck. The garage probably only holds 50 cars and the deck maybe holds 75. There are way more employees than that in the building so 'regular' associates (i.e. not owners, VPs or Upper Management) park in a lot around the corner and down a block. It's not a terrible walk but when it's freezing or pouring rain and you left your umbrella at home it's not a pleasant walk.
It snowed over the weekend. Monday morning I decided that was inclement weather enough that I should park on the deck. I parked my car and opened the door to realize I was parked on a solid sheet of ice. I carefully maneuvered myself and my big belly out of my car without hitting the car next to me or dropping my lunch. I shuffled off the ice proud that I hadn't slipped getting out of the car. I walked the 50 feet or so to the building entrance. I thought to myself there isn't as much snow on the sidewalk as I thought there would be and then it happened. I took a step with my right foot and felt the ground move underneath me.
For some reason in that moment I looked up, perhaps to see if anyone was around me to either witness me fall or help me up. And as I was falling to my knees I locked eyes with the guy in the window straight ahead of me. The whole second I was falling I was thinking stop looking at him but I couldn't. I was stuck in this weird slow motion trance watching his facial expression change as he realized what was happening and that there was nothing he could do to stop it. He was the sole witness and a pane of glass separated us.
Once I finally hit the ground I took the brunt of the concrete to my knee. I pushed myself back up and dusted the snow off my hands and knees/shins. I looked back up at the guy in the window. He looked away. I called Alex. I figured this was something you're supposed to tell your spouse. Perhaps if I hadn't been pregnant he would have asked if I was ok and I would have said "yes" and we would have moved on with our days. But instead, I said "the roads were fine but I fell walking into the building." This was met with a million questions and before I could answer any of them I was crying and just saying "I'm fine" over and over again. By this time I was at my cubicle. I hadn't expected to cry. I hadn't expected to become a spectacle.
After convincing Alex I was fine, that I didn't hit my stomach or head and that nothing hurt aside from my knee I hung up. I tried to gain some composure but then Patty came over and said "What happened, doll?" I said, "I'm fine." and started crying all over again. She hugged me and told me to just cry because that's what the hormones want and I just need to let it out. After I was done with that round of tears the Director of HR walked out of my boss's office and said, "What happened!?" Patty had to tell her because I started crying again. "I'm fine," I whispered. She went back into my boss's office and I knew she was telling him what had happened. I just wanted it to stop, I wanted everyone to stop. I wanted the tears to stop. And I wanted an ice pack.
Patty got me some ice and some ice water. I composed myself. I powdered my face because I looked like death. I drank my water and checked my emails and messaged Alex to let him know it didn't seem too swollen and I would let him know if it got worse. Then I went into my boss's office and he said, "I know. You're fine." I smiled. I apologized for crying. He told me not to be ridiculous and that he would get me a spot in the garage even if it was his. (which of course made me cry - like why do you have to be so selfless? Where's the tough love? Where's the 'buck up buttercup'?) I reiterated just how fine I was and that a spot in the garage would not be necessary. Then the building manager appeared out of thin air and said that I most definitely would be parking in the garage any time there is any sort of weather. He offered to move my car to the garage. I said that would not be necessary.
And then I took a breathe. Whew! That was my first full out pregnancy break down. Sure I was a little shaken up but pre pregnancy Erin would have been like ow and moved on. Current state Erin was like you know what, I haven't told enough people I'm fine today and then cried in front of them.
I iced my knee off and on throughout the day and looked at it in the afternoon. The swelling was almost all gone and the bruising had begun. I took this picture this morning. It ain't pretty but it's not the worst bruise I've had.
Oh, and do you know what F.I.N.E. stands for? Freaked out, insecure, neurotic, and emotional.
It snowed over the weekend. Monday morning I decided that was inclement weather enough that I should park on the deck. I parked my car and opened the door to realize I was parked on a solid sheet of ice. I carefully maneuvered myself and my big belly out of my car without hitting the car next to me or dropping my lunch. I shuffled off the ice proud that I hadn't slipped getting out of the car. I walked the 50 feet or so to the building entrance. I thought to myself there isn't as much snow on the sidewalk as I thought there would be and then it happened. I took a step with my right foot and felt the ground move underneath me.
For some reason in that moment I looked up, perhaps to see if anyone was around me to either witness me fall or help me up. And as I was falling to my knees I locked eyes with the guy in the window straight ahead of me. The whole second I was falling I was thinking stop looking at him but I couldn't. I was stuck in this weird slow motion trance watching his facial expression change as he realized what was happening and that there was nothing he could do to stop it. He was the sole witness and a pane of glass separated us.
Once I finally hit the ground I took the brunt of the concrete to my knee. I pushed myself back up and dusted the snow off my hands and knees/shins. I looked back up at the guy in the window. He looked away. I called Alex. I figured this was something you're supposed to tell your spouse. Perhaps if I hadn't been pregnant he would have asked if I was ok and I would have said "yes" and we would have moved on with our days. But instead, I said "the roads were fine but I fell walking into the building." This was met with a million questions and before I could answer any of them I was crying and just saying "I'm fine" over and over again. By this time I was at my cubicle. I hadn't expected to cry. I hadn't expected to become a spectacle.
Patty got me some ice and some ice water. I composed myself. I powdered my face because I looked like death. I drank my water and checked my emails and messaged Alex to let him know it didn't seem too swollen and I would let him know if it got worse. Then I went into my boss's office and he said, "I know. You're fine." I smiled. I apologized for crying. He told me not to be ridiculous and that he would get me a spot in the garage even if it was his. (which of course made me cry - like why do you have to be so selfless? Where's the tough love? Where's the 'buck up buttercup'?) I reiterated just how fine I was and that a spot in the garage would not be necessary. Then the building manager appeared out of thin air and said that I most definitely would be parking in the garage any time there is any sort of weather. He offered to move my car to the garage. I said that would not be necessary.
And then I took a breathe. Whew! That was my first full out pregnancy break down. Sure I was a little shaken up but pre pregnancy Erin would have been like ow and moved on. Current state Erin was like you know what, I haven't told enough people I'm fine today and then cried in front of them.
I iced my knee off and on throughout the day and looked at it in the afternoon. The swelling was almost all gone and the bruising had begun. I took this picture this morning. It ain't pretty but it's not the worst bruise I've had.
Oh, and do you know what F.I.N.E. stands for? Freaked out, insecure, neurotic, and emotional.
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