Sharing Early

There are so many reasons why this pregnancy is different than my first pregnancy. But the biggest difference (aside from the obvious, this one lasted) is my support system. The people in my life haven’t changed greatly in the last nine months, but what I allowed them to see in me has changed significantly and that has made all the difference.

Like I said in a prior post, I knew I was pregnant very early on. Most people wait until weeks 8-13 before telling anyone they are pregnant because the risk of miscarriage is so high in the first trimester. But I had been there, done that, and I decided on day one of finding out that I wasn’t going to walk through this pregnancy alone. I wanted to give my support system a chance to support me from the beginning.

I, of course, told Alex right away. Next was my co-worker, Patty, and my friend, Hannah. Then I got on a plane and flew to Chicago and told my friends who were there for Kim’s bachelorette party. By Saturday I had told a bunch of strangers at the bachelorette because I wasn’t drinking wine or eating cold cuts or soft cheeses at the winery and I couldn’t pretend all of those choices were keto related. That Sunday I got to see Olivia and told her in person. The relief of not having to hold in this huge secret was literally life changing. Of course it’s risky to tell people that early, but for my emotional health it was riskier to not tell people that early. I decided come what may, I wanted my tribe with me.

The following Monday I told my bosses and after the first ultrasound (5 weeks, when we found out we were having twins) I told my whole team at our weekly meeting. I said “I’m pregnant…pause for exclamations of excitement… with twins!” I just love dropping that shocker. No one sees it coming. Everyone always has a larger reaction than whatever their initial reaction was which usually includes screaming of some sort and lots of hugs.

One of my District Managers wasn’t there that Monday so she didn’t hear the news. I told her the next day in person and she cried tears of joy for me. After the next ultrasound I walked into her office and said “I have something to show you but you can’t cry.” She said “Ok!” I handed her the ultrasound pictures and her eyes welled up with tears immediately. “I’m just so happy for you!” she said. I told the whole Accounting Department and the Software Systems Manager who had sparked something in me to want to share my life (the good, the bad, and the ugly) a few short months prior.

If I hadn’t shared so early on I would have missed out on all the initial excitement. I told my sister and friends I was having twins right when I found out. I got to live in the shock at the same moment they were living in it. It’s more real that way.

I had originally planned to tell my family all together at fall birthdays in September but I slipped up on a call with my sister right around 4 weeks so she knew I was having twins long before the rest of my family heard the news at 8 weeks. I got to tell Grammy Patti in person the same weekend in September that we told my family and we told one of Alex’s sisters the following week. Over the next couple weeks Alex clued in the rest of his friends and family. (He wasn’t as quick to jump on the sharing train. After the 11-week ultrasound he was more at ease but I don’t think he fully let his breath out until we got the genetic screening back and found out the gender.)

Sharing your life is so beautiful. Being transparent doesn’t make you weak, it makes your friendships strong. So many friends and family members are checking on me all the time, wanting to know how I’m doing/feeling, etc. and it gives me a chance to ask about their lives too. I’m growing closer to friends near and far, some I haven’t talked to in months or years, because they want to be on this journey with me. I am so blessed with rich relationships and I thank God every day that he gave me the right people at the right time to start sharing my life with.

Sharing so early is not for everyone and I would never tell you to do something you’re not comfortable with. But for me, it was exactly what I needed. Any time I was feeling scared that I would miscarry again someone was there to encourage me. I haven’t felt alone for one single minute in this pregnancy and these sweet baby girls are so loved and prayed for already.