After my miscarriage in March my doctor said to wait one cycle before trying to conceive again. We did blood work on day 21 of that cycle to see if I had ovulated and I had not. Fast forward to May and according to my labs I still wasn't ovulating; my progesterone levels remained low. He said we could wait a few more cycles and see what happened or I could take a pill called Clomid that would help me ovulate. He said we needed to raise my progesterone level and he wasn't confident I'd be able to do that on my own given my progesterone levels every month since December. (Mind you, my progesterone was so low my body had no business getting pregnant in the first place. He wanted to avoid another 'chemical pregnancy' like I had before). The words "fertility treatment" were never used and I am apparently an idiot and did not realize that that is exactly what clomid was. Mild, yes. But still a fertility treatment.
In late June I had a nice chat with myself about body image and self esteem. I had gained 20 pounds since starting at Hills in October of 2017. Part of this could be attributed to the fact that my prior job was more active and I was regularly lifting 30-60 pounds for catering deliveries. My new job was more sedentary and my exercise routine (what's that?) was seriously lacking. The more obvious contributor to this weight gain was my miscarriage. When you are emotionally spent and are bottling up everything that's going on in your life you either choose to be a health/fitness freak because it's the one thing you can control... or you choose to eat your feelings and binge watch the Great British Baking Show, again, because it's the one thing you can control. Any guesses which option I chose?
I had heard about a diet called the ketogenic diet. (Keto for short). I was in the car riding back from my grandparents with my parents and I wasn't in a chatty mood so I spent the entire ride researching keto and making a grocery list and a game plan. I started keto the following Monday, June 25th. If you are unfamiliar with keto it is a high fat, high(ish) protein, low carb diet. And when I say low carb I mean LOW carb. I downloaded the 'Carb Manager' app that has thousands of foods to choose from to plug into your daily macros so you can track how many grams of fat/protein/carbs you're eating. To maximize weight loss and start burning fat my plan had me set at 19g of carbs per day. One piece of kroger brand bread has between 14-18g of carbs, for reference. Keto is not for the faint of heart. I love me some bread and giving up bread, pasta, large fruits (even natural sugars become carbs!) was not easy, but I was so determined for it to work. I became the person who weighted absolutely everything I put in my mouth. Everything was tracked, there was no such thing as a cheat day and I hit my macros almost every single day within grams of the goal. Oh, more importantly, did I mention it's supposed to help with fertility? I won't pretend to understand the science behind it, but something about high fat, low carb is supposed to boost your progesterone levels naturally. I figured it was worth a shot and if I lost weight in the process that would just be an added bonus.
So back to the clomid thing. I started my first round of clomid in June, coincidentally the same month I started keto. The next blood draw showed my progesterone level was at 13. It had NEVER been that high (it only got up to 11 in my first pregnancy before sinking back to practically 0 after the miscarriage). I thought keto is working! It's actually working! And I wasn't mad at the 9 pounds I'd lost in the first two weeks either. Of course I didn't think for a second that the clomid could actually be the thing working, but hey, whatever keeps you motivated right? I talked to my friend, Kasey, who is a pharmacist to see if she'd ever heard of Clomid (laughable. Everyone has heard of clomid except for me). She told me it can increase your chance for multiples and I just shrugged it off. I thought what are the changes of that?
Now I'm a little scatterbrained and for that I apologize, but this is all important information in the story that is my current pregnancy. My labs came back in July and my progesterone had dropped to 9. I was feeling a little deflated. I had lost 15 pounds but my progesterone wasn't holding steady. I texted my sister and asked her if I should consider fertility treatments (lol I was already on one and literally didn't realize it). In her wisdom she told me to give my body some time. It was adjusting to a new diet and still recovering from the trauma of a miscarriage. She also encouraged me to get an ovulation kit. She said it would put my mind at ease if I could see for myself when my best ovulation, or "peak" days were.
Side bar - my sister, Bethany, is a saint. I have asked her approximately 1,734 questions since March and she has not once said "Erin, that's a dumb question." She has given me so much advice and helped me navigate pre-pregnancy and now pregnancy as I basically have the knowledge of a child when it comes to all things pregnancy related.
Back on track. I bought an ovulation kit. Like $25 for 10 sticks. I thought that's kind of a rip off. These sticks better be magic. A few mornings later I was peeing on a stick. Bethany had given me very specific instructions but I still had to read the instructions on the box 5 times. The whole time I'm wondering how they can make peeing on a stick any more complicated. I guess normal humans ovulate around day 14. Since my body has never thought following the social norms would be fun I do not ovulate on or around day 14. My peak days were 19-21. To this day I still wonder if all that blood work I did to check if I had ovulated in the past was actually able to tell since I didn't ovulate in the "normal" time frame. Oh well. It's not all that important now. Alex was gone on my peak days. He was at a bachelor party in Chicago. I was so disappointed. My faith in the magic sticks was so real, I believed I would get pregnant if he were just home on my peak days.
Two weeks later was the bachelorette party that I was attending. I bought a pregnancy test. There were going to be wine flights and other alcoholic indulgences at this bachelorette party and I wanted to be able to drink with a clear conscience. We were flying to Chicago Thursday night. Thursday morning I peed on yet another stick. (The pregnancy kind this time). I set a timer for 2 minutes not daring to look at it before the two minutes were up. Low and behold, not only was there a pink line starring back at me but it was the darkest line you could possibly get on one of these tests. Like no faint possibility of pregnancy. It was as if it was screaming - "YOU DID IT!" I was in complete shock. How was this possible? We missed the peak days! (google it - sperm can live in your body for several days before implementation/fertilization actually takes place - actually maybe don't google it. You might get some weird search results.) When Alex came downstairs I was doing my morning workout (oh yeah, I started working out when I started keto too - full 180). I paused it and turned to him, tears streaming down my face. I showed him the test and I think he was as shocked as I was. I guess those sticks really were magic. (Or God is sovereign and this has nothing to do with magic).
I went to work. I took the pregnancy test with me (kind of weird in hindsight). I pulled my co-worker, Patty, aside to the back room and showed her the test. She screamed. We cried. We prayed and thanked God for this baby. I called my doctor's office. I said, voice shaking, "I need to come in today for a pregnancy test. I need to confirm the results of a home test." My doctor was out of town - could it wait until Monday? "No, it really can't. I'm going to Chicago in a couple hours and I need to be certain before a bachelorette party begins tomorrow night." The nurse said she'd make some calls but to come in on my lunch. Another doctor would review the results for me so I'd know for sure.
The next morning the doctor who had delivered the sad news of my miscarriage called to deliver the best news ever - I was definitively pregnant. She said my numbers were incredibly high. I said "I can't be more than a few weeks pregnant" and she said my numbers were too good to believe that and they'd like to do another blood draw the following day to confirm the numbers were rising at a good rate. "Maybe you're farther along than you think," she said. I told her I was in Chicago and the best I could do for another blood draw was Monday. On Tuesday my doctor called me and said "You're still pregnant, hon. Numbers look great." We went through dates of my last cycle and yadda yadda. We scheduled the first ultrasound for September 4th.
Stay tuned for the rest of the story!
In late June I had a nice chat with myself about body image and self esteem. I had gained 20 pounds since starting at Hills in October of 2017. Part of this could be attributed to the fact that my prior job was more active and I was regularly lifting 30-60 pounds for catering deliveries. My new job was more sedentary and my exercise routine (what's that?) was seriously lacking. The more obvious contributor to this weight gain was my miscarriage. When you are emotionally spent and are bottling up everything that's going on in your life you either choose to be a health/fitness freak because it's the one thing you can control... or you choose to eat your feelings and binge watch the Great British Baking Show, again, because it's the one thing you can control. Any guesses which option I chose?
I had heard about a diet called the ketogenic diet. (Keto for short). I was in the car riding back from my grandparents with my parents and I wasn't in a chatty mood so I spent the entire ride researching keto and making a grocery list and a game plan. I started keto the following Monday, June 25th. If you are unfamiliar with keto it is a high fat, high(ish) protein, low carb diet. And when I say low carb I mean LOW carb. I downloaded the 'Carb Manager' app that has thousands of foods to choose from to plug into your daily macros so you can track how many grams of fat/protein/carbs you're eating. To maximize weight loss and start burning fat my plan had me set at 19g of carbs per day. One piece of kroger brand bread has between 14-18g of carbs, for reference. Keto is not for the faint of heart. I love me some bread and giving up bread, pasta, large fruits (even natural sugars become carbs!) was not easy, but I was so determined for it to work. I became the person who weighted absolutely everything I put in my mouth. Everything was tracked, there was no such thing as a cheat day and I hit my macros almost every single day within grams of the goal. Oh, more importantly, did I mention it's supposed to help with fertility? I won't pretend to understand the science behind it, but something about high fat, low carb is supposed to boost your progesterone levels naturally. I figured it was worth a shot and if I lost weight in the process that would just be an added bonus.
So back to the clomid thing. I started my first round of clomid in June, coincidentally the same month I started keto. The next blood draw showed my progesterone level was at 13. It had NEVER been that high (it only got up to 11 in my first pregnancy before sinking back to practically 0 after the miscarriage). I thought keto is working! It's actually working! And I wasn't mad at the 9 pounds I'd lost in the first two weeks either. Of course I didn't think for a second that the clomid could actually be the thing working, but hey, whatever keeps you motivated right? I talked to my friend, Kasey, who is a pharmacist to see if she'd ever heard of Clomid (laughable. Everyone has heard of clomid except for me). She told me it can increase your chance for multiples and I just shrugged it off. I thought what are the changes of that?
Now I'm a little scatterbrained and for that I apologize, but this is all important information in the story that is my current pregnancy. My labs came back in July and my progesterone had dropped to 9. I was feeling a little deflated. I had lost 15 pounds but my progesterone wasn't holding steady. I texted my sister and asked her if I should consider fertility treatments (lol I was already on one and literally didn't realize it). In her wisdom she told me to give my body some time. It was adjusting to a new diet and still recovering from the trauma of a miscarriage. She also encouraged me to get an ovulation kit. She said it would put my mind at ease if I could see for myself when my best ovulation, or "peak" days were.
Side bar - my sister, Bethany, is a saint. I have asked her approximately 1,734 questions since March and she has not once said "Erin, that's a dumb question." She has given me so much advice and helped me navigate pre-pregnancy and now pregnancy as I basically have the knowledge of a child when it comes to all things pregnancy related.
Back on track. I bought an ovulation kit. Like $25 for 10 sticks. I thought that's kind of a rip off. These sticks better be magic. A few mornings later I was peeing on a stick. Bethany had given me very specific instructions but I still had to read the instructions on the box 5 times. The whole time I'm wondering how they can make peeing on a stick any more complicated. I guess normal humans ovulate around day 14. Since my body has never thought following the social norms would be fun I do not ovulate on or around day 14. My peak days were 19-21. To this day I still wonder if all that blood work I did to check if I had ovulated in the past was actually able to tell since I didn't ovulate in the "normal" time frame. Oh well. It's not all that important now. Alex was gone on my peak days. He was at a bachelor party in Chicago. I was so disappointed. My faith in the magic sticks was so real, I believed I would get pregnant if he were just home on my peak days.
Two weeks later was the bachelorette party that I was attending. I bought a pregnancy test. There were going to be wine flights and other alcoholic indulgences at this bachelorette party and I wanted to be able to drink with a clear conscience. We were flying to Chicago Thursday night. Thursday morning I peed on yet another stick. (The pregnancy kind this time). I set a timer for 2 minutes not daring to look at it before the two minutes were up. Low and behold, not only was there a pink line starring back at me but it was the darkest line you could possibly get on one of these tests. Like no faint possibility of pregnancy. It was as if it was screaming - "YOU DID IT!" I was in complete shock. How was this possible? We missed the peak days! (google it - sperm can live in your body for several days before implementation/fertilization actually takes place - actually maybe don't google it. You might get some weird search results.) When Alex came downstairs I was doing my morning workout (oh yeah, I started working out when I started keto too - full 180). I paused it and turned to him, tears streaming down my face. I showed him the test and I think he was as shocked as I was. I guess those sticks really were magic. (Or God is sovereign and this has nothing to do with magic).
I went to work. I took the pregnancy test with me (kind of weird in hindsight). I pulled my co-worker, Patty, aside to the back room and showed her the test. She screamed. We cried. We prayed and thanked God for this baby. I called my doctor's office. I said, voice shaking, "I need to come in today for a pregnancy test. I need to confirm the results of a home test." My doctor was out of town - could it wait until Monday? "No, it really can't. I'm going to Chicago in a couple hours and I need to be certain before a bachelorette party begins tomorrow night." The nurse said she'd make some calls but to come in on my lunch. Another doctor would review the results for me so I'd know for sure.
The next morning the doctor who had delivered the sad news of my miscarriage called to deliver the best news ever - I was definitively pregnant. She said my numbers were incredibly high. I said "I can't be more than a few weeks pregnant" and she said my numbers were too good to believe that and they'd like to do another blood draw the following day to confirm the numbers were rising at a good rate. "Maybe you're farther along than you think," she said. I told her I was in Chicago and the best I could do for another blood draw was Monday. On Tuesday my doctor called me and said "You're still pregnant, hon. Numbers look great." We went through dates of my last cycle and yadda yadda. We scheduled the first ultrasound for September 4th.
Stay tuned for the rest of the story!
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