I subscribe to a few twin blogs and see a lot of posts on 'How to Survive the First Year'. While these posts have some valid pointers on life with twins I don't feel it's fair to call this time in our lives merely 'survival'. Maybe I'm not being fair and for some all they can do is survive. But I don't want to just survive. I want to thrive.
The last couple weeks of my pregnancy I was concerned about how we would do this twin thing. I was worried I wouldn't bond well with one or both of the babies or that they would just cry all the time or never sleep. When I would tell people I was carrying twins common responses were:
"Oh! Double trouble!"
"Twins? Good luck!" ... or my personal favorite:
"Rest while you can. You won't get a good night's sleep for the next 18 years."
How encouraging.
I didn't realize how discouraging the general public's comments were until someone's response to me saying I was carrying twins was, "Oh! Double the blessing!" I thought, yes, blessings. Finally, someone has gotten it right. From that moment on any time someone said something negative about twins I just said, "we got a double portion of blessings." That tended to shut people up.
When the time came for them to be born I wasn't ready, but I wouldn't have been more ready if I had just been carrying one. I don't think you wake up one day and say I am ready to be a mom now. I know what I'm doing. No! You are handed a squirmy, squishy, wrinkly little potato that somehow was created in your womb and suddenly you are a mother. No training, prepping or nesting can prepare you for that moment. Somehow, despite having no idea what you're doing, you're doing it and after a few weeks you know your babies. You know the difference between their cries and their cues for hunger, you've lived the blow outs and spit ups and you are no longer phased by the nuances of motherhood. You are a pro.
Having twins is really no different. People ask me all the time what it's like to have twins. I say, "Well it's like having one baby... except there are two of them." That's it. I suppose it might be different if they were different genders but there isn't a "trick" to being a twin mom. You simply do everything twice. And once you come to terms with that fact life is much easier.
We really did hit the jack pot on sleep though. Of all the mom things I could have worried about I was most worried about sleep. I am not a nice person when I'm tired. Think of a person you know that has no filter. Now imagine if you stripped that person of all sleep, and therefore, all rationale and manors. I'm telling you, me without sleep is not a pretty sight. It may sound silly, but I prayed for babies that would sleep. Of course the first couple of weeks were interesting, but we had help and I was averaging 6 hours a night. By the time I went back to work at 9 weeks I was getting 8 hours most nights. To sleep that much I had to go to bed when the girls went down because they were still having a feed in the middle of the night at that point. I was willing to let the household lag to be well rested. Best decision I ever made. Also my mom was here a LOT and she kept the house in order when I let it slide. Now the girls usually sleep for 11-12 hours so I can clean the house, make dinner, do laundry, watch a show, or catch up on work after they go down and still get a solid 6-8 hours a night.
So in short, this mom thing isn't about survival. It's about living life to the fullest extent possible and thanking God every day that I get to wake up and be Violet and Zara's mom.
The last couple weeks of my pregnancy I was concerned about how we would do this twin thing. I was worried I wouldn't bond well with one or both of the babies or that they would just cry all the time or never sleep. When I would tell people I was carrying twins common responses were:
"Oh! Double trouble!"
"Twins? Good luck!" ... or my personal favorite:
"Rest while you can. You won't get a good night's sleep for the next 18 years."
How encouraging.
I didn't realize how discouraging the general public's comments were until someone's response to me saying I was carrying twins was, "Oh! Double the blessing!" I thought, yes, blessings. Finally, someone has gotten it right. From that moment on any time someone said something negative about twins I just said, "we got a double portion of blessings." That tended to shut people up.
When the time came for them to be born I wasn't ready, but I wouldn't have been more ready if I had just been carrying one. I don't think you wake up one day and say I am ready to be a mom now. I know what I'm doing. No! You are handed a squirmy, squishy, wrinkly little potato that somehow was created in your womb and suddenly you are a mother. No training, prepping or nesting can prepare you for that moment. Somehow, despite having no idea what you're doing, you're doing it and after a few weeks you know your babies. You know the difference between their cries and their cues for hunger, you've lived the blow outs and spit ups and you are no longer phased by the nuances of motherhood. You are a pro.
Having twins is really no different. People ask me all the time what it's like to have twins. I say, "Well it's like having one baby... except there are two of them." That's it. I suppose it might be different if they were different genders but there isn't a "trick" to being a twin mom. You simply do everything twice. And once you come to terms with that fact life is much easier.
We really did hit the jack pot on sleep though. Of all the mom things I could have worried about I was most worried about sleep. I am not a nice person when I'm tired. Think of a person you know that has no filter. Now imagine if you stripped that person of all sleep, and therefore, all rationale and manors. I'm telling you, me without sleep is not a pretty sight. It may sound silly, but I prayed for babies that would sleep. Of course the first couple of weeks were interesting, but we had help and I was averaging 6 hours a night. By the time I went back to work at 9 weeks I was getting 8 hours most nights. To sleep that much I had to go to bed when the girls went down because they were still having a feed in the middle of the night at that point. I was willing to let the household lag to be well rested. Best decision I ever made. Also my mom was here a LOT and she kept the house in order when I let it slide. Now the girls usually sleep for 11-12 hours so I can clean the house, make dinner, do laundry, watch a show, or catch up on work after they go down and still get a solid 6-8 hours a night.
So in short, this mom thing isn't about survival. It's about living life to the fullest extent possible and thanking God every day that I get to wake up and be Violet and Zara's mom.
Comments
Post a Comment