Next month Alex and I will celebrate 7 years of marriage. These last couple of months we've really been putting the "in sickness and in health" portion of our vows to the test. Day care is great. I have loads of positive things to say about it, things I'll write about at a later date. Good things aside, it is a petri dish of disease, and illness has never been so rampant in our house.
My babies are over 7 months old. (can't believe it. Where does the time go?) They've been going to day care since they were 9 weeks old. In that time frame Zara has had three ear infections, bronchiolitis, and an upper respiratory infection with a few colds sprinkled in for good measure. She's basically been some form of sick for 5 months straight. Many times we've taken her to the doctor just because her cough sounds so terrible it's hard to listen to. Every time the doctor says her lungs are clear and it sounds worse than it is. But it's still so hard to listen to, because there is absolutely nothing we can do for her. Zara is a champ. When she had her first ear infection she wasn't overly fussy. She was just kind of irritable and eating slower than usual. I only took her to the doctor because she had some eye goobies that were yellow and weren't clearing up. Violet, on the other hand, had a fever a couple months ago (like low low fever, not even recognized as a fever by doctors or day care standards) and was screaming her little head off. I think we know which of the girls has a higher pain tolerance and which of the girls will need band aides for every boo boo. Violet is not without her fair share of illness, though. She currently has a touch of bronchiolitis with a minor ear infection. Amoxicillin is a friend of the Taylor household.
When your kids are this little and sick it's heart breaking. They can't tell you what hurts. They just cry and you just hold them and say you're sorry they're sick. When you're sick life gets more complicated. You're wearing masks at home so you don't breathe your illness on your kids in case your sick is different than their sick. You are exhausted by the time you get home from work because you need approximately 72 hours of sleep to get over the hump of this illness but working full time doesn't afford you that luxury. You feed the kids and ship them off to bed and then go to bed yourself at 7 PM. On nights that they sleep well you sleep well and you inch closer to the healthy end of the health spectrum. But when they don't sleep well you don't sleep well. They are coughing and crying; maybe they even have a fever that warrants a call to the on-call nurse to determine if tylenol should be administered. Then they will only fall asleep upright on your chest so you hold them because they are only this tiny and precious and dependent on you once, and all those thoughts you had of a rejuvenating night's sleep go out the window.
I have had a cough for 4 weeks straight. Usually it presents itself in sudden cough attacks that go as fast as they come. It's always worse at night, of course. For a full week I slept in the guest room because I was coughing so much I was keeping both of us awake. That week of coughing was accompanied by a sore throat and loads of cough drops. Alex and I took shifts with the monitor because the girls were sick too and we realized after one long miserable night that no one would sleep if we both had monitors on. I usually took the 8 - 2 am shift and he took the 2 - 7 am shift. Some nights we both slept okay. (You don't sleep great when your kids are sick because you're worried in the back of your head and that keeps you from falling into a deep blissful slumber.) Other nights there was lots of fussiness and late night bottle feedings. The girls are usually both very good at self soothing but when they are sick sometimes nothing really helps and a bottle will help them fall back to sleep. When it's three am and you haven't had more than an hour of sleep you do what you have to do.
Now I love my husband. You all know this to be true, but man-sick is different than any other kind of sick there is. I saw a meme that said "My husband and I are both sick. The only difference is I'm doing the laundry and he's dying." This about sums up man-sickness. Alex and I have had some of the same illnesses over the past five months and some different illnesses at the same and different times. Usually I can push through the sickness because mom-adrenaline is real and my to-do list doesn't give me a break for illness. Alex doesn't typically share that same drive and when he's sick and tired he goes to bed - which honestly, isn't the worst idea ever. Last week I was hit with chills out of nowhere. I pushed through it and finished out the work day despite my co-worker telling me in sincere concern that I looked terrible. I ended up with a fever over 103 degrees by Saturday afternoon that meds were not helping to lower. I don't remember the last time I had a fever. I was 100% out of commission. Standing up made me dizzy/faint and bending over in the slightest sent my head into a spiral from all the congestion and a headache that would not quit.
The fever broke after dinner time on Saturday and I started to feel normal again after a cool shower. The relief was short-lived though. I was feverish off and on Sunday and Monday. I went back to work Tuesday feeling about 80%. My cough that has been a constant for the last month ramped up in frequency. Tuesday night was miserable. I coughed all night and my throat was swollen and raw. When I got up Wednesday I could tell something was not right. I hoped I was wrong, but after another fitful and cough-filled night I made an appointment with my primary care Thursday morning. I had bronchitis and pneumonia when I was in the 4th grade. I honestly don't remember coughing or feeling so weak, but what I do remember is the feeling of the weight on your chest and the feeling that you can't breathe deep enough to satisfy your need to breathe deeply.
I went to the appointment and told the nurse and the doctor the same story of my symptoms over the weekend that I perceived to be the flu that I fear is actually pneumonia. I think they both thought I was being a little overly dramatic until the doctor listened to my lungs. She couldn't hear clearly in my lower left quadrant. She ordered a chest x-ray and called me within the hour with the results. There is a "haziness" in my lungs. She said it could be early signs of pneumonia or it could be something else. She prescribed me some medicine that you would take with pneumonia and told me to go home (I was working because why not?) until at least Monday. If the weightiness on my chest hasn't gone away by then I'm supposed to call her, I presume for another chest x-ray. So far there has been no change and my coughing frequency has not decreased but I've only been on the antibiotic 24 hours.
My primary concern is not myself. I am really really really bad at not working so that is a struggle. I stayed home today like the doctor asked and only worked for 2.5 hours. The rest of the time I did nothing. No cooking, cleaning, organizing. Just nothing. I hear that's how rest works.
My primary concern is the girls. I began to panic a little bit at my quasi-diagnosis. Have I given the girls pneumonia? Did they give it to me and we just haven't noticed the signs? Sometimes I do something called catastrophizing, which is where you imagine the absolute worst case scenario. In my catastrophizing someone always ends up dead and it's usually me or one of the girls. So naturally I'm thinking the girls already have pneumonia and their little bodies can't handle it and they will die.
I called the pediatrician and talked to the nurse. I told her I have pneumonia. It's easier than saying I might have pneumonia. We scheduled an appointment for their doctor to do a full check up and determine our next course of action. That appointment was today at 9:45. (So I guess I lied. I did nothing after I got home from their appointment and in between working for a short time). I was relieved to hear that adults very very rarely give babies their age pneumonia. Since Violet had a minor ear infection and bronchiolitis he put her on amoxicillin. He said under normal conditions he wouldn't have put her on antibiotics, but given everything going on the amoxicillin is a precautionary measure, because if she would happen to contract this from me amoxicillin would be prescribed so she's already covered. Zara is already on amoxicillin for an ear infection found on Tuesday so she's covered too. The doctor said the incubation period for me being contagious (if I am contagious) will be done before they would be off the meds and to call them if the girls' temperament changes at all. They have both been very happy this week, ear infections and all. Maybe they're just getting used to being sick.
I keep telling myself that this too shall pass but it's hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel through all the coughing, wheezing, sneezing, fevers and headaches. My mom has had to come bail us out many times. One weekend Alex and I were both sick. She drove down and took the girls from us and told us to go to bed. She let us sleep monitor free for two nights in a row and we were both back in tip top shape by Monday morning. She came last weekend when she heard about my fever and she's coming again tomorrow so I can rest through the weekend and Alex can serve at church on Sunday. Could we manage without her? Probably. But we'd probably be even more sick if we tried and I honestly can't even imagine that.
So accept the help, thank those who help you, hug your babies tight (but wear a mask if you're sick. It's flu season), and pray for the health of everyone you know, young and old. Good health should never be taken for granted.
My babies are over 7 months old. (can't believe it. Where does the time go?) They've been going to day care since they were 9 weeks old. In that time frame Zara has had three ear infections, bronchiolitis, and an upper respiratory infection with a few colds sprinkled in for good measure. She's basically been some form of sick for 5 months straight. Many times we've taken her to the doctor just because her cough sounds so terrible it's hard to listen to. Every time the doctor says her lungs are clear and it sounds worse than it is. But it's still so hard to listen to, because there is absolutely nothing we can do for her. Zara is a champ. When she had her first ear infection she wasn't overly fussy. She was just kind of irritable and eating slower than usual. I only took her to the doctor because she had some eye goobies that were yellow and weren't clearing up. Violet, on the other hand, had a fever a couple months ago (like low low fever, not even recognized as a fever by doctors or day care standards) and was screaming her little head off. I think we know which of the girls has a higher pain tolerance and which of the girls will need band aides for every boo boo. Violet is not without her fair share of illness, though. She currently has a touch of bronchiolitis with a minor ear infection. Amoxicillin is a friend of the Taylor household.
When your kids are this little and sick it's heart breaking. They can't tell you what hurts. They just cry and you just hold them and say you're sorry they're sick. When you're sick life gets more complicated. You're wearing masks at home so you don't breathe your illness on your kids in case your sick is different than their sick. You are exhausted by the time you get home from work because you need approximately 72 hours of sleep to get over the hump of this illness but working full time doesn't afford you that luxury. You feed the kids and ship them off to bed and then go to bed yourself at 7 PM. On nights that they sleep well you sleep well and you inch closer to the healthy end of the health spectrum. But when they don't sleep well you don't sleep well. They are coughing and crying; maybe they even have a fever that warrants a call to the on-call nurse to determine if tylenol should be administered. Then they will only fall asleep upright on your chest so you hold them because they are only this tiny and precious and dependent on you once, and all those thoughts you had of a rejuvenating night's sleep go out the window.
I have had a cough for 4 weeks straight. Usually it presents itself in sudden cough attacks that go as fast as they come. It's always worse at night, of course. For a full week I slept in the guest room because I was coughing so much I was keeping both of us awake. That week of coughing was accompanied by a sore throat and loads of cough drops. Alex and I took shifts with the monitor because the girls were sick too and we realized after one long miserable night that no one would sleep if we both had monitors on. I usually took the 8 - 2 am shift and he took the 2 - 7 am shift. Some nights we both slept okay. (You don't sleep great when your kids are sick because you're worried in the back of your head and that keeps you from falling into a deep blissful slumber.) Other nights there was lots of fussiness and late night bottle feedings. The girls are usually both very good at self soothing but when they are sick sometimes nothing really helps and a bottle will help them fall back to sleep. When it's three am and you haven't had more than an hour of sleep you do what you have to do.
Now I love my husband. You all know this to be true, but man-sick is different than any other kind of sick there is. I saw a meme that said "My husband and I are both sick. The only difference is I'm doing the laundry and he's dying." This about sums up man-sickness. Alex and I have had some of the same illnesses over the past five months and some different illnesses at the same and different times. Usually I can push through the sickness because mom-adrenaline is real and my to-do list doesn't give me a break for illness. Alex doesn't typically share that same drive and when he's sick and tired he goes to bed - which honestly, isn't the worst idea ever. Last week I was hit with chills out of nowhere. I pushed through it and finished out the work day despite my co-worker telling me in sincere concern that I looked terrible. I ended up with a fever over 103 degrees by Saturday afternoon that meds were not helping to lower. I don't remember the last time I had a fever. I was 100% out of commission. Standing up made me dizzy/faint and bending over in the slightest sent my head into a spiral from all the congestion and a headache that would not quit.
The fever broke after dinner time on Saturday and I started to feel normal again after a cool shower. The relief was short-lived though. I was feverish off and on Sunday and Monday. I went back to work Tuesday feeling about 80%. My cough that has been a constant for the last month ramped up in frequency. Tuesday night was miserable. I coughed all night and my throat was swollen and raw. When I got up Wednesday I could tell something was not right. I hoped I was wrong, but after another fitful and cough-filled night I made an appointment with my primary care Thursday morning. I had bronchitis and pneumonia when I was in the 4th grade. I honestly don't remember coughing or feeling so weak, but what I do remember is the feeling of the weight on your chest and the feeling that you can't breathe deep enough to satisfy your need to breathe deeply.
I went to the appointment and told the nurse and the doctor the same story of my symptoms over the weekend that I perceived to be the flu that I fear is actually pneumonia. I think they both thought I was being a little overly dramatic until the doctor listened to my lungs. She couldn't hear clearly in my lower left quadrant. She ordered a chest x-ray and called me within the hour with the results. There is a "haziness" in my lungs. She said it could be early signs of pneumonia or it could be something else. She prescribed me some medicine that you would take with pneumonia and told me to go home (I was working because why not?) until at least Monday. If the weightiness on my chest hasn't gone away by then I'm supposed to call her, I presume for another chest x-ray. So far there has been no change and my coughing frequency has not decreased but I've only been on the antibiotic 24 hours.
My primary concern is not myself. I am really really really bad at not working so that is a struggle. I stayed home today like the doctor asked and only worked for 2.5 hours. The rest of the time I did nothing. No cooking, cleaning, organizing. Just nothing. I hear that's how rest works.
My primary concern is the girls. I began to panic a little bit at my quasi-diagnosis. Have I given the girls pneumonia? Did they give it to me and we just haven't noticed the signs? Sometimes I do something called catastrophizing, which is where you imagine the absolute worst case scenario. In my catastrophizing someone always ends up dead and it's usually me or one of the girls. So naturally I'm thinking the girls already have pneumonia and their little bodies can't handle it and they will die.
I called the pediatrician and talked to the nurse. I told her I have pneumonia. It's easier than saying I might have pneumonia. We scheduled an appointment for their doctor to do a full check up and determine our next course of action. That appointment was today at 9:45. (So I guess I lied. I did nothing after I got home from their appointment and in between working for a short time). I was relieved to hear that adults very very rarely give babies their age pneumonia. Since Violet had a minor ear infection and bronchiolitis he put her on amoxicillin. He said under normal conditions he wouldn't have put her on antibiotics, but given everything going on the amoxicillin is a precautionary measure, because if she would happen to contract this from me amoxicillin would be prescribed so she's already covered. Zara is already on amoxicillin for an ear infection found on Tuesday so she's covered too. The doctor said the incubation period for me being contagious (if I am contagious) will be done before they would be off the meds and to call them if the girls' temperament changes at all. They have both been very happy this week, ear infections and all. Maybe they're just getting used to being sick.
I keep telling myself that this too shall pass but it's hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel through all the coughing, wheezing, sneezing, fevers and headaches. My mom has had to come bail us out many times. One weekend Alex and I were both sick. She drove down and took the girls from us and told us to go to bed. She let us sleep monitor free for two nights in a row and we were both back in tip top shape by Monday morning. She came last weekend when she heard about my fever and she's coming again tomorrow so I can rest through the weekend and Alex can serve at church on Sunday. Could we manage without her? Probably. But we'd probably be even more sick if we tried and I honestly can't even imagine that.
So accept the help, thank those who help you, hug your babies tight (but wear a mask if you're sick. It's flu season), and pray for the health of everyone you know, young and old. Good health should never be taken for granted.
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